Marriage Celebrant Auckland- Blog 2
This week I want to share my thoughts on choosing the right wedding ceremony for you and your partner. Deciding to marry the love of your life is one of the hugest decisions you’ll ever make. I read this beautiful quote this morning by Rajeev Ranjan:
“Engagement marks the end of a whirlwind romance and the beginning of an eternal love story.”
Once you’ve decided that you want to get married, you’ll be discussing how, where, when, who will attend and a lot of those decisions come down to two basic questions: What is our budget? and what do we actually want for our wedding?
Sadly since March 2020, Covid 19 has had a massive impact on couple’s wedding plans affecting decisions around what kind of ceremony to have. There might have been plans to have a huge wedding in Samoa or Korea or India or England with 100s of guests and all of the cultural elements that would accompany a traditional wedding ceremony. Those plans have had to be re-thought or at least delayed because the trip overseas won’t be happening in the near future.
In this situation so many couples I’ve married over the past year have opted for a Registry Wedding. Since July 2019 it is no longer possible to get married in a Registry Office in New Zealand. The role of officiating Registry Weddings has been outsourced to the celebrant community by celebrants who are validated members of the Celebrant Association. This means the ceremony and experience will be similar to what you would have had in a Registry Office wedding. The ceremony itself is very short containing set wording and vows. You the couple, and your two witnesses sign the paperwork and it’s all over in 10-15 minutes. The outcome is exactly the same as bigger personalised weddings – you are legally married. The neat thing is you get to choose the venue for your wedding. A celebrant may offer their home as a venue or you can have it in your own home or a beach or gardens or a restaurant. Some people may plan a huge wedding with lots of guests and a banquet meal and try to save money on the ceremony by having a Registry Wedding – there’s nothing legally stopping you from doing this but it is not the intent of a Registry Wedding. I’ve officiated at weddings which were purchased as a Registry Wedding and by the time the opening prayers and hymns and speeches were finished, I’d waited close to half an hour to conduct the 15 minute ceremony. Think short…small….simple. Celebrants are paid a minimal fee for this type of ceremony As I said a lot of couples who are still wanting to celebrate in a bigger ceremony when the world opens up again, are opting for a Registry Wedding now because they simply just want to get married.
If you are planning a small, medium or large wedding and want a ceremony that is more than just “the legal wording”, then you can opt for a Personalised Wedding. Here you can have a ceremony that is personalised to you both, tells your story, reflects your beliefs and personalities and allows you to write your own vows if you wish. You have probably selected and booked your venue, perhaps you have chosen your photographer/videographer. The invitations may have gone out, the dress or suit are decided upon. As a celebrant it’s really exciting to be asked to officiate at a personalised wedding. I love meeting the couple and hearing their story and their plans. I love writing their ceremony and ensuring that it reflects who they are and what they want. When you choose a celebrant, and trust me there are literally hundreds of us out there to choose from, make sure it is someone you feel totally comfortable with. After meeting or talking with them, you should feel calm and relaxed and happy that they have everything in hand and trust that they will reflect you and your wishes.
Celebrants all charge different fees ranging from around $300 - $900. There are so many huge expenses in a personalised wedding from the venue, the catering, the photographer, videographer, flowers, wedding cake……yet the celebrant is the person who actually is responsible for the legal ceremony taking place. So when you pay for a celebrant remember you are not paying for their 30 -45 minutes at the wedding, you are paying for their training, knowledge, expertise, experience, planning and writing time, communications with you and often a rehearsal before the big day. All celebrants I know are happy to meet with a couple – obligation free – to see if you are a good fit. I highly recommend this, usually the celebrant will shout you coffee (or wine!) at this meeting so it is really worth investing in.
How do you select a great celebrant? Recommendations are always a fantastic way to get someone great and also use the Celebrant Association website to search. Celebrants who belong to the Celebrants Association have access to on-going professional development, resources and a community of celebrants who help and support each other.
And it’s ok to say no to a celebrant after you’ve met for coffee. I met with a lovely couple recently, we had coffee, I shared ideas with them, they shared their ideas for what they wanted and we seemed to hit if off. A few days later they let me know they had chosen a different celebrant. And whilst there is that pang of “what didn’t they like about me?”, they had the decency to let me know and were gracious about our meeting and we both wished each other well.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about planning your ceremony and am happy to answer any questions you have about selecting a celebrant. Please leave them in the comments below. Thanks for reading. ideas for what they wanted and we seemed to hit if off. A few days later they let me know they had chosen a different celebrant. And whilst there is that pang of “what didn’t they like about me?”, they had the decency to let me know and were gracious about our meeting and we both wished each other well.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about planning your ceremony and am happy to answer any questions you have about selecting a celebrant. Please leave them in the comments below. Thanks for reading.